My first and only love
I always thought that my life was a piece of misery, then, time passed
and I realized that I was happy, happy as a pig in mud, or at least I did not
cry every night thinking about the past.
Sunday with a warm weather was the beginning of the end. The albatross
flew and the waves of the beach, in front of my house, were gentle. I was a guy
with a normal life, even when I knew that I had a brain tumor.
That day I took a walk, out of boredom. I walked for hours, and then, I saw her sitting in an old park bench. She was wearing a blue sweater, that possibly her grandmother had given to her, and a pretty flowered dress. She was there, reading a book while the wind stroked her hair. I stopped my walking and by the first time, I had the courage to talk with a girl. I just said hello, but it was the most sincere hello of my entire life, I was shaking and my hands were sweating. She answered my hello with a beautiful smile, Susan was her name, and after a lot of stupid questions, we started a real conversation.
Since that day, we spent many days talking, until we began to go out as something more than simple friends. I loved her and she loved me, I stroked her hair and she smiled, she always used to smile. Everything in my life was ok, by first time I felt what love was supposed to. I had a girl who could understand my feelings; and if we rely in statistics which say that women mature faster than men, it was easy for her because she was older than me.
Subsequently, everything changed on Monday, a horrible Monday. I was going to my school, and then I felt a shiver that covered my entire body, something was wrong and I knew it. I called Susan but she did not answer, so I began to run as fast as I could, my breathing was dying gradually and then my heart stopped. I woke up in a hospital, and I had a lot of questions, but nobody wanted to tell me what had happened with Susan. I decided to escape from the hospital and go to her house; I took the clothes of a nurse and went running to my love´s house. When I arrived, I knocked the door three times, but no one answered, there was nobody. I sat in the garden and waited until Susan's parents arrived. With tears, Susan´s mother told me that Susan had died, she was going to my house, so while she was walking on the bridge, she lost her balance and fell to the highway. I could not believe that, -it is impossible- I thought how someone could fall from that bridge? After that, I fainted. The doctors made a lot of studies, trying to know what I had. I had to wait many days for my results, each and every day I cried thinking about her. I could not believe that the only piece of happiness in my life was not going to be here anymore.
Now I am in the operating room, besides of my brain tumor, I have a heart broken, literally. I cannot continue living without other heart, so in a couple of minutes, I am going to be operated just so I can endure a bit longer. I do not know if I want to survive, I am twenty two years old, and I have loved and suffered enough. She was twenty five years old, and she had many things to do, a whole life in front of her. I have been dying since Susan died; all that I want is to sleep and dream that this never happened. I want to dream that I never met her, because all my headaches are nothing in comparison with the suffering of remembering her, I was happy. I want to sleep and dream that she never met me, because if she had never met me, she had never died, at least not in these circumstances.
That day I took a walk, out of boredom. I walked for hours, and then, I saw her sitting in an old park bench. She was wearing a blue sweater, that possibly her grandmother had given to her, and a pretty flowered dress. She was there, reading a book while the wind stroked her hair. I stopped my walking and by the first time, I had the courage to talk with a girl. I just said hello, but it was the most sincere hello of my entire life, I was shaking and my hands were sweating. She answered my hello with a beautiful smile, Susan was her name, and after a lot of stupid questions, we started a real conversation.
Since that day, we spent many days talking, until we began to go out as something more than simple friends. I loved her and she loved me, I stroked her hair and she smiled, she always used to smile. Everything in my life was ok, by first time I felt what love was supposed to. I had a girl who could understand my feelings; and if we rely in statistics which say that women mature faster than men, it was easy for her because she was older than me.
Subsequently, everything changed on Monday, a horrible Monday. I was going to my school, and then I felt a shiver that covered my entire body, something was wrong and I knew it. I called Susan but she did not answer, so I began to run as fast as I could, my breathing was dying gradually and then my heart stopped. I woke up in a hospital, and I had a lot of questions, but nobody wanted to tell me what had happened with Susan. I decided to escape from the hospital and go to her house; I took the clothes of a nurse and went running to my love´s house. When I arrived, I knocked the door three times, but no one answered, there was nobody. I sat in the garden and waited until Susan's parents arrived. With tears, Susan´s mother told me that Susan had died, she was going to my house, so while she was walking on the bridge, she lost her balance and fell to the highway. I could not believe that, -it is impossible- I thought how someone could fall from that bridge? After that, I fainted. The doctors made a lot of studies, trying to know what I had. I had to wait many days for my results, each and every day I cried thinking about her. I could not believe that the only piece of happiness in my life was not going to be here anymore.
Now I am in the operating room, besides of my brain tumor, I have a heart broken, literally. I cannot continue living without other heart, so in a couple of minutes, I am going to be operated just so I can endure a bit longer. I do not know if I want to survive, I am twenty two years old, and I have loved and suffered enough. She was twenty five years old, and she had many things to do, a whole life in front of her. I have been dying since Susan died; all that I want is to sleep and dream that this never happened. I want to dream that I never met her, because all my headaches are nothing in comparison with the suffering of remembering her, I was happy. I want to sleep and dream that she never met me, because if she had never met me, she had never died, at least not in these circumstances.
E.R.A 18/09/13
